Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Living ‘Life’

The calendar dictates my days,
The clock my time.
I snooze between alarms,
And dream through the commute.

Blinded by my false sense of self worth,
The beauty of the newly blossomed gulmohar
On the path I rush through, escapes me.

The mornings are maniacally hurried,
And the evenings pass in a daze.
Of the afternoons I remember nothing;
The nights are long and silent.

I like to believe that within me,
Lie the depths of the ocean.
There are oysters with hidden pearls.

I don’t have the luxury of deep diving,
I console myself, and then I sigh in relief;
This fear of searching within, only to
Stumble upon the silence of the hollow years.

The lack of profound sorrow and
The absence of any exhilarating joy
Am I blessed or just plain cold?

At the shore, my heart aches for the
Electrifying currents that run deep;
And the sinking ship, in the middle of
The blue, envies my sanctuary at the coast!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The potency of the human mind…

…Is frightening to say the least. Leave it unleashed and it obliterates your very existence, but what can tame it – social conditioning, aligning to what others define as “normal” and “acceptable”?

What happens when the chemical concoctions brewing in your brain refuse to assimilate in the proportion they need to for you to be deemed fit for community living?

How do you disassociate with what your psyche perceives as real and ally with what the people around you see?

We as a society are intolerant to any behavior that we recognize “different” from what has been understood as the norm. We are so insecure about our fragile social constructs of “normalcy” that the minute a person behaves even slightly tangential to what we are “used to”, we go on the defensive – our first reaction is to protect ourselves, and the second to “judge” - brandish the person as “mentally challenged” or “flawed in personality or character”.
The more sympathetic among us try to derive logical reasons, try to “sort” thing out, try to find a “cure”.
But, none of us “accept” and “include”.

Our rigid set-ups do not make allowances for an overactive imagination, for a passionately fiery spirit, for an individual who might have a different arrangement of molecules in the grey matter in their system.

Each one of us is unique - yet only to a limited extent, after which we all “conform”. The price for non-conformance is too huge to pay – alienation from society – friends and family.

Like everything else in life, there are no easy solutions to the exclusivity we all practice as part of community living. Acceptance must begin at home, at the level of the family unit. That is our only hope.

(I have not been able to coherently string together the many thoughts that a close association with one such powerfully distinctive mind evoked in me a while back – But, I finally decided to publish this long pending draft to share with you the frustration at our inability to assimilate variations into mainstream – forget assimilation, we refuse to acknowledge the rights of “differently” constructed individuals to lead a normal life – we just give up on them, we subject them to indifference or anger – pushing them into greater depths of estrangement – we make them pay for what is out of their control – the mind – the omnipotent mind that is above the individual.)

Friday, May 28, 2010

Demystification

A moment on the edge of time
A sigh on parched lips
A bubble balanced on the tip of a sword
A shrieking echo in vacuumed space
A promise of permanence in changing times
A curse of hollow years from empty palms
A sinking ship in the beautiful ocean
A dream on partially open lids
A drop of dew in the morning sun
A green leaf just before the onset of fall

And so, my life lies in the crevices
Of the worlds that have not fallen
There must have been a reason
Or then maybe none at all
I will not ask the question again
I know there is no answer
It was never meant to be
Anything but a coincidence
This talk of a mission and goal
The pilgrimage to resurrection
When waiting for the final annihilation

Sunday, February 28, 2010

When life reminds you what living is all about...

In a regular health check-up 15 days back, when my mom's TMT (Tread-mill Test) showed baseline positive, little did we know that we were going to go through the worst patch in our closed-knit family life.

Meet my mom: 52-year old, slim (she proudly proclaims she is "almost size zero" and she is not kidding, believe me), health conscious (she is done with the advanced course of art of living, and has been practicing yoga, pranayam, om vilom, sudarshan kriya and what not for more than 2 years now), very active (she teaches English in middle and senior school) - she has no family history of any heart ailment, she is not diabetic, no BP problems.

In a follow up angiogram, and then angiography on 18th Feb, mom was diagnosed with severe blockage in all the three main arteries to the heart - 80%, 80% and 90%.
We all were shocked - the doctors were slightly taken aback too.
Life defies logic, they say.

Science could not help us ascertain the reasons but scientific advancement helped us take immediate remedial actions. Mom went in for angioplasty - there were multiple complications and I do not even want to recall what was going through all our minds and hearts - we helplessly held onto faith - hating god for putting mom through this and at the same time thanking him for guiding us to the right course before anything worse could happen.

By God's grace, the operation was successful and mom's been recovering well.
We had a family reunion after almost a year - given my work schedule, Priyank's college, mom's school, dad's work, it becomes difficult to synchronize vacations - but we all realized, so blatantly - our strength is in our togetherness - that is living - cherishing our love and the bonds that bind; happiness is here, within - we cannot and will not give up - together we can fight, and win; so what if we are not together on festivals so many times - when our hearts are one - when we are together and for one another, life's a sparkling Diwali, a benevolent Christmas, a colorful Holi, anytime, anywhere.

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