“The clouds I can handle, but I can’t fight an Eclipse”

Eclipse has been on my must watch list for a long long time but I guess I am just destined not to see the Twilight series movies on the big screen. Today I managed to get the DVD from a local library and that sure did make my Saturday afternoon.

If you are wondering what a grown-up (supposedly) like me gets out of watching these teenage romances, or as someone mentioned at work, extended Hannah Montana series, I have nothing to say. My defense rests here – a post that I did a while back.

Coming to Eclipse, I thoroughly enjoyed the battle that brought together the indomitable spirit of the Cullens and the unyielding grit of the werewolves, against the new-born vampire army!

The menacingly dark weather of Forks, Washington seems to provide an ideal case of pathetic fallacy – the clouds that could rain any time, the skies that could darken without warning, the coastal forests - all provide the perfect set-up that is pregnant with possibilities – a sense of foreboding lurks just like the omnipresent overcast sky…

And finally what I absolutely adore about these Twilight movies - the incredibly cute dialogues. So, instead of going ga-ga over the lovable Cullens, I thought I’ll reproduce a few of the dialogues here for your reading pleasure ;).

Edward (proposing to Bella): I think you'll find the vampire human divorce rate a little lower. Just marry me.

Edward (referring to Jacob): Doesn't he own a shirt?

Edward (to Bella): Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars – point of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty...

Charlie (Bella’s dad): (to Bella) There's... things that you need to think about if-you if you're going to be... physically intimate...

Bella: Okay, Don't, don't have ‘the talk...’ please!...

Charlie: ... Alright, so, you guys are taking precautions?...

Bella: Okay, Dad, please just don't worry about... that... Edward is...Old School…I am still a virgin!...

Charlie (to himself): Virgin... I'm liking Edward a little more now...

Bella’s mom: There’s something…strange about the way you two are together… The way he watches you—it’s so…protective. Like he’s about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something.

Edward: I’m from a different era. Things were a lot less complicated. And if I met you back then, I would have courted you. Would’ve taken chaperoned strolls, and iced tea on the porch. I may have stolen a kiss or two but only after asking your father’s permission, I would've got down on one knee and I would’ve presented you with a ring. This is my mother’s. Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment forever. Would you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?

Awwwww...now who can resist the gentlemanly immortals!

Why vampires might make better “better” halves ;)

Just finished watching the sequel to Twilight - New Moon – I know, I know I am like a coupla months late, but sure you guys know, it’s better late than never.

The celluloid rendition of Stephenie Meyer’s lovable Cullens, and may I especially mention the sinisterly handsome Edward Cullen, makes me forget the light years I am away from teenage!

While most cute lovey-dovey romances still do find a way to flutter my heart (*blush* *blush*), the Bella-Edward melodramatic extravaganza brings to life the dreamy childhood visions of fairy tales, princes on horses, et al…

Okay, now is the point I get incredibly sissy, so cutting myself short and getting to the point of the post, which is definitely not a review of any of the movies. (There’s nothing to critique, it’s a luscious momentary fantasy trip, best enjoyed without the application of the annoying grey matter in your head.)

What struck me – partly because of my innate skill at being the devil’s advocate and partly cos of my much cultivated and practiced talent of irritating Vish – was that vampires might just qualify as better marriage material than, you know, human beings.

So, ladies (and gentlemen), presenting 5 solid reasons why a vampire would make an awesome boy friend, partner, husband…

• First and foremost, you don’t have to cook for him. Imagine, never would you be subjected to comments like “My mom makes better sambhar”, “The food’s yumm, but you could go easy on the salt”, or questions like “What’s for dinner tonight?”, “Why are we always eating out, it’s been ages since I got home-cooked food?”.

• The second important reason is that he will be hyper sensitive – to your feelings, needs. So he will know exactly when the washing machine needs repair, the TV’s not working, the phone needs to be recharged and the credit card bill to be paid – All you have to do is close your eyes and wish, and boom he will be there to fix all that you want :). (The flip side is that if you are not Bella and he can read your mind, you might not be able to lie about the parlor expenses and the shopping bills, but let’s not ruin our fun with the cons.)

• Point 3; he can fly, and at what speed, wow! Imagine the continents you can visit without having to deal with air sickness, bumpy loos, and freakin visa issues – all on his back – oh, so romantic ;)!

• Point 4; he is eternal, indefatigable and incredibly powerful – he’ll fight the werewolves, the rowdies at the street corner, villain vampires, and the entire might of Voltaire for you because you would be the best thing that happened to him in about 100 years (*flutter* *flutter*). What an ego bolster is that kind of a yardstick :p?!?!

• Last but not the least, you can be a vampire too (he can convert you) – ageless, ever young, the master (mistress, rather) of your destiny, and then you can proudly answer when somebody asks your age, “I am 21. I have been 21 for a while now”. Yippie ;)!!!

Alas, if you thought good men were rare to find, such vampires are sure non-existent in this big bad world; so all that am doing is (sigh) waiting for 30 June 2010. That’s when the third movie in the Twilight Saga, Eclipse, releases.

P.S. Vish, I love you, and I know you are going to take me for the movie, and prove for a fact that there remain a few good men who can match upto the impeccable Cullens :D!