My experiments with Murphy’s Laws

It has almost become a cliché to blame good ol’ Murphy for anything that goes awry. Nevertheless, I staunchly believe in the perversity of this universe. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong and especially when it matters to you the most.

Murphy’s laws are universal truths and my life has been a sort of revelation, an unfolding of events that hence prove these.

And so here is a list of Murphy’s laws (there’s a long list, these are only the Top 5) that almost always apply to me and are largely responsible for the dynamics of my being:

Murphy's First Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall reach office at 8:30 AM with the earnest determination to leave by 5:30 PM to make it to the airport to see off my relatives. The following shall happen:

• Nobody shall notice my early arrival.
• My boss who is otherwise such a chilled out guy shall schedule an urgent must-attend meeting from 5:00 PM to 6 PM.
• I shall take permission to leave mid-way.
• The meeting shall start only at 5:30 PM.
• I shall sheepishly excuse myself at 5:45 PM.
• It shall rain and rain like there was going to be no tomorrow.
• There shall be traffic jams and it shall take me double and triple the time to reach my destination.
• I shall miss meeting the relatives and the meeting at work!

Murphy's Second Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall enter a shopping mall at 11:00 AM to pick up only one nice top to go with the white skirt I bought long back. The following shall happen:

• I shall not find a single decent top till 2:30 PM.
• At 2:30 PM, I shall hit the food court to feed my starving self.
• At 3:00 PM, I shall find this awesome pair of denim capri pants I always wanted.
• The queue for the trial rooms shall be longest I have ever known.
• At 5:00 PM, I shall have still not found the top, but would have blown up considerable cash on other unplanned shopping.
• At 6:00 PM, my husband’s face shall turn crimson and scarlet, and an ultimatum of 7:30 PM shall be issued.
• At 7:15 AM, I shall be in the process of finalizing the top, but again the queue at the trial rooms and the billing counters shall be sooo looooooooooong that I shall be forced to give up.
• The Friday dinner I would have worn the dress to shall have atleast one girl wearing a beautiful top with a nice skirt – the kind I wanted!

Murphy's Third Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall be wearing my new 4-inch stilettos to a get-together. The following shall happen:

• Everybody shall complement on how they suit me – blah blah. However, serious concerns shall be raised on my ability to walk in them - steadily and with stability.
• I shall revel in all the attention, rubbish all the concerns, and boast of my comfort with heels. “Oh c’mon, check out what my mom wears; it runs in my blood!”
• Everybody shall be in awe of me and the way I strut around elegantly in my stilts.
• The day shall proceed well, but right at the time of leaving, I shall miss a step and lose my balance.
• Everybody shall give me the “See, we told you” glances. (Oh, how I wish I could just erase such moments!)

Murphy's Fourth Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall decide to drive to work. The following shall happen:

• The fire brigade or the garbage truck shall decide to park at the corner I have to make a right turn.
• All traffic shall be unusually fast.
• There shall be five cars before me and five cars after, but the traffic signal shall change from green to yellow, right when it’s my turn.
• The lane that I use the most (slowest one ofcourse!) shall be blocked for repair.
• The office parking lot shall have no parking spaces available on the first level.
• All spacious parking spaces shall be taken.
• I shall be late to work, my husband irritable and thus my driving shall be demoted to grocery store parking lots!

Murphy's Fifth Law of Yuvikynamics

I shall be sincerely working all day on a presentation due the next day. The following shall happen:

• The one time when I am checking my gmail, my boss shall plan to make a stop at my cube.
• The approver shall need a hard copy and the nearest printer shall run out of paper.
• I shall walk to the other end of the floor to pick up the print out only to realize that the notes have not been printed.
• The approver shall take a sick leave the next day.
• By the time, I find an alternate approver and get the ball rolling; the agenda of the presentation shall change.

Obviously, I have an endless list - maybe more shall follow in a later post :).